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Jaguar E-Pace Chequered Flag

What’s this bike doing on top of a Jaguar E-Pace?

That isn’t explained in the Press release that came with the picture.

The only possible explanation was right at the end of Jag telling all about the E-Pace being their top selling car and how they’ve just brought out a special edition called the Chequered Flag.

Yes, but what about the bike? “The E-Pace was was our best selling model from April 2018 to March 2019, with 11,142 sales,” say Jaguar.

And the bike? “It’s got unique, premium design touches and upgraded standard features.” Aah, now we’re getting somewhere.” You wouldn’t know any of that from the picture. For starters the front wheel has been separated.

“It comes with a comprehensive list of standard features.” Yes, go on.

“Inside, this includes 10-way heated front seats, a panoramic roof, heated steering wheel and a 12.3-inch TFT (thin film transistor) Interactive Driver Display, alongside design enhancements such as an R-Dynamic branded steering wheel, black aluminium gearshift paddles and an Ebony Morzine headliner.” Oh. it’s not about the bike. It’s the car again.

What about the bike? “It’s available in three colours.” Hooray, now we’re getting somewhere. “They’re Photon Red, Corris Grey and Yulong White.” It’s the car again, isn’t it.

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“Chequered Flag exterior side badging and 19-inch Satin Dark Grey wheels immediately draw the eye. Step inside and there are prominent Chequered Flag treadplates, while the Ebony Grained Leather interior with red stitching reinforces the vehicle’s premium feel.” Definitely not the bike.

“Chequered Flag’s distinctive exterior features R-Dynamic body-coloured bumpers, twin tailpipes and LED headlamps with signature J-blade, in addition to a Black Exterior Pack. A powered tailgate and keyless entry add further convenience.

“Connectivity is enhanced with the introduction of Apple CarPlay® and Android Auto™. By mirroring your mobile device to the central 10-inch Touch Pro screen, it allows drivers to use their favourite apps safely on the move.”

“The Chequered Flag special edition is available now, priced from £40,050.”

And the bike? I give up. No, wait a minute. What’s this, right at the end?

“Owners can add to or personalise their E-Pace with a comprehensive range of Jaguar accessories.” Ha ha, accessories? Now we’re getting there.

“This includes a number of popular versatility and practicality features like the new Pet Packs, introduced to ensure pets can travel safely and in comfort.”

No mention of the bike then, and what’s that windsurfer doing on top of the white car?